OUTWITTED                                                             

“Don’t be lighting any cigars in the house, Arnie.  You’ll blow us to bits!”  Jett says nervously, running his hand through his hair.  


“Don’t worry, Jett.  I won’t.  I just needed to taste it is all.  It’s been hard trying to kick the habit,” says Arnie with his thick, southern drawl, while removing the cherry flavored cigar from his mouth.  He places it in his t-shirt pocket.  “Last one,” he says gently patting it. 

“Getta move on it, Arnie.  You’re too slow.  That guy will be here any minute to pick this stuff up.”  Jett pushes a box filled with gunpowder across the table toward his best friend of twenty-five years. 

   

“You know, I think Leanne is trying to have me killed,” says Arnie.  He removes a toothpick from the same pocket and picks at his teeth.

 

“I’d probably wanna kill you too, Arnie.”

 

“Whose side are you on, Jett?  She left me.  She left me for a younger man.” He throws the toothpick down onto the table.

  

“Come on, Arnie.  You know she’s ruthless and vengeful.  I’d watch my back if I were you, more now than ever, since you wiped her clean in that bad divorce of yours.”

“Oh, I plan too.”

“There’s no proof she’s with someone else.  Have you seen her with another dude?”

  

“No, but Rosco said his name’s Dean.”

      

“Rosco?  Look, you can’t believe anything he says.  Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.  Now, finish the last of that up.  I’m going to see if that guy’s here yet.  I’ll be back shortly.”

    

Jett walks out of the room and goes upstairs.  As Jett enters the kitchen, he looks through the glass, storm door noticing a young man dressed as a fireman standing on the porch.  He smiles throwing his hand up at Jett. 

   

“Can I help you?”  Jett asks approaching the door.

   

“Yeah, I’m here to see Jett about an extinguisher,” he responds.

   

 Now, that’s what I wanted to hear!”

   

As Jett unlocks the door and lets him in, he hands Jett an envelope filled with cash.  Jett quickly counts it and smiles.

   

“Thank you.  Now, let’s tend to business,” says Jett stuffing the envelope into his back pocket.

  

“Where’s your partner?”

  

“Arnie’s waiting for us downstairs.  Follow me.”

As Jett turns around and starts to walk ahead, the man removes a piece of nylon rope from his pocket, wraps it around Jett’s neck and strangles him to death.

    

“Looks like I’ll be tending to business alone.  I’ve just got to finish up by killing your buddy, Arnie since he’s the real reason I came,” says the man, while retrieving the envelope from Jett.  He slides the rope back into his pocket and continues downstairs.  “Hello?  Anyone here?”

   

Arnie walks out of the room holding the gunpowder.  “Can I help you?”  He glances up the stairway searching for Jett.

“Looking for your friend?  Well, he’s not coming.  He’s upstairs…dead!”

“What the?  Jett’s dead?  Who are you?  Wait a minute!  You’re Dean!” 

“Yes, I am, you sorry, good for nothing hillbilly, you got that right.  I’m Dean and you’re a

dead man like your buddy upstairs!”  Dean says taking a step toward him.

“Stay right where you are!  Don’t come any closer or I’ll blow this place to bits!”

    

As Arnie holds the gunpowder box tight against his chest, powder starts to leak from beneath it.

 

“No you won’t, Arnie.  Leanne said you’re all talk and no action.  That’s why she likes me so much.”

   

Arnie runs back into the room, slams the door and locks it.

   

“Arnie, we both know you’re not going to blow up the joint!  You don’t have the guts,” says Dean, slamming his body weight against the door.

Just as he breaks through and enters, he observes Arnie still holding the box and…smoking a cigar!  The room is filled with boxes marked fireworks and explosives.  As he takes a step toward Arnie, he steps on a powdery substance.  A trail of gunpowder leads from the door toward the explosives.  Arnie drops the empty box down onto the floor and removes the cigar from his mouth.

  

“Arnie, don’t be stupid!” 

“I’ve lost Leanne.  I’ve lost Jett.  What have I got to live for?  You’ve taken everything, 

Dean” 

     

“Okay, okay!  I’m really sorry, Arnie.  Please don’t do it!” Dean begs.

   

“I’ve nothing left.  Everything I love’s gone,” says Arnie lowering his head.  A tear runs down his cheek and drops down into the gunpowder. 

As Dean turns around, attempting to escape, Arnie flicks his cherry cigar into the gunpowder.  

The house explodes killing both.

                                                                        *   *   *

                                                                             

A couple of years later an expensive, new home resides on the property.  A wealthy realtor

purchased Jett’s property a year prior and had a home built for his lovely, new wife.

  

“Well, honey, how do you like your new home?”  He asks.

“I love it, Gary!  It’s perfect!”  His wife says gently kissing him on the cheek.

“Not too big?”

“No, I love a home with lots of room to roam.  I’ve been looking forward to this.”  She says.

  

“Glad to hear it.  Ready to turn in for the night, my lady?”

  

“Yep, sure am!”  She says.

 

Gary wraps his arm around her, pulling her close, as they walk down the hallway toward the bedroom.  Shortly after falling asleep, the woman is awakened as someone continuously whispers her name.

    

“Who’s there?”  She asks frantically.

    

 “You know who.  I don’t haveta tell ya,” says a darkened silhouette standing at the foot of her bed accompanied by another bound in chains. 

   

“Oh, no, you’ve got to be kidding me!  Arnie, is that you?”

  

“Yes, it is!  I’m not going to let you do it…Leanne,” says Arnie, as the chained silhouette standing beside him moans.

  

 “Do what?  What do you think I’m going to do?”  She asks.

  

“Don’t think Jett and I haven’t figured out your plan for Dean, here,” he says grabbing onto the chains binding the guy next to him, rattling them.

   

 “Dean?  Is that really you?  How did you know I’d come back, Arnie?  Let him go or else!”  She threatens.

    

 “Your threats are no good here, Leanne.  You can’t kill a dead man.  No thanks to you, Jett and I can never leave this place, since we died here.  If you stay here, Jett and I will haunt you for eternity.”

    

“Is that so?  Are you threatening me, now, Arnie?” 

      

“No, not at all, Leanne.  Since your lover, Dean, here can’t leave this place either, I figured it wouldn’t be long before you would figure out a way to come back and reunite.”

   

“Well, I’m bringing Dean back and I’m going to use this guy here to do it,” says Leanne pointing Gary as he sleeps.

“That’s the only reason you married him, you lyin user!”

   

She smiles.  “You’ve got that right.  Wow, Arnie, I’m actually impressed.”

“You know, Leanne, you’re actually the one responsible for Dean’s death.  You shouldn’t have sent him to try and take me out.  You underestimated me.”

“Shut up, Arnie!  Just shut up!”  She tightens her hands into fists.

   

“You’ll never get Dean back.  Not if Jett and I can help it.”

 “You sure about that?  You sound so confident.”  She glances around.  “Where’s your buddy, Jett?  Oh, Jett, where are you?” 

   

“The only way you’re going to get Dean back is if that guy lying next to you agrees to allow himself to be possessed by Dean and I don’t think he’ll go for it,” says Arnie rattling the chains again, smiling.

   

“Well, this may come as a shock to you, but, he already agreed.”

  

“That’s impossible!  You’re lying!  Why would he do that?”

 

“Shocking, isn’t it?  As we both know, I couldn’t afford to purchase Jett’s property because you wiped me clean.  Eventually, it was sold.  So, I went on a mission to find out who the purchaser was and low and behold it was a handsome realtor…Gary, here.  I knew all I had to do was get him to fall in love with me."  She smiles wickedly and crosses her arms.  "Here's the big kicker!  Gary knows I'm in love with Dean."  She smiles, "I was honest with him about that from the start.  We made an agreement.  I told him I’d marry him if he agreed to help me release Dean’s spirit and in doing so, it would put my mind at ease.  I would no longer have to worry about Dean and I would be able to focus on him and our marriage.”

   

“But, you weren’t completely honest Gary.  You deceived him.  You left out the most important part about him being possessed by Dean for the rest of his life once he helps release his spirit.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to bring Dean back…anything!  Now, release him from those chains Arnie!”

   

“Or what?  You can’t hurt me anymore.  I’m a ghost!”

   

“Or, I will kill Gary while he sleeps!”

  

“If you do, you won’t be able to bring Dean back.”

  

 “That wouldn’t stop me you idiot!  I would just use someone else to do it!  I’m only going to say it one last time.  Release Dean or Gary is a dead man!”

“One day you’ll pay for what you’ve done, Leanne,” says Arnie, as he unchains the dark silhouette next to him.  The chains quickly fall to the floor.

Leanne nudges Gary on the shoulder.  “Gary, wake up!  I found Dean!  He’s here in this room right now!  Now, allow his spirit into your body!  Welcome him in.  Say it, Gary!”

   

Gary sits up wearing a strange look on his face.

  

“Hurry, Gary, before it’s too late!”

    

“Okay, okay, Leanne.  I welcome you and allow you to come in,” says Gary gazing upon the unchained spirit.

The spirit rises into the air, changing into a vapor and enters through Gary’s nose.  He deeply inhales, falling backward onto the bed.

Leanne leans down by Gary’s face.  “Dean, are you there?  Dean, answer me!  Please!”

Gary’s eyes open.  “I’m here.”

She sobs, grabbing and kissing him, as he sits up in bed kicking off the covers.

    

“Is it really you?  I’ve missed you so much,” she says caressing the side of Gary’s face.

   

He gets out of bed and walks out of the room.  As he disappears from view, Leanne calls after him, but he doesn’t answer.  She gets out of bed, puts on her robe and walks down the hall, picking up on a faint scent resembling the smell of a lit match.  Immediately, she smells an entirely different smell…a familiar smell.  A smell more familiar than any smell she’s ever known.  She anxiously runs toward it, panicked, gasping for air, until she reaches the entrance to the kitchen.  She peeks in and discovers Gary’s body sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigar!  She inhales sniffing the familiar smell.

  

“Dean, honey, I think you’ve been a ghost for too long.  Arnie’s got you smoking his cherry cigars.”

“You know, Leanne, not long ago, I met a realtor, who bought me these cherry cigars.  I told him, if he didn’t find you, convince you to marry him and build your new home here, I would haunt him for the rest of his life.  At first, he didn’t believe me.  But, eventually he was very much persuaded.  So, he also went on a mission, found you first, convinced you that he was in love with you, married you and built your new home here.  I couldn’t convince him to kill you so, I made another agreement with him.  That agreement was for me to be permitted to temporarily possess him, so that I could kill you, using his body to do so.  He wouldn’t remember a thing because I would be in complete control then.  After doing this, he would have his life back.  He wouldn't have to worry about looking over his shoulder or being awakened by us at night, you know, like we did you, and low and behold, Gary agreed!”

  

“Oh no!  Arnie!  It’s you!  What have you done?  And, what have you done with Dean?”

    

“Don’t worry, Jett and I took care of him.  Oh, and I thought you’d like to know, that was Jett in the bedroom pretending to be me.”

   

Enraged, she screams and runs into the kitchen toward Arnie.  Her long fingers spread out like eagle claws ready to rip him apart.  As she approaches him, he jumps up from the table and punches her in the face, knocking her out cold.  “Now, I can’t have you dying here, Leanne, because if you did, we would never be rid of you.  And, I don’t think Jett and I could handle you for eternity.  So, I’m going to have to take you somewhere else and finish you off!”  He casually finishes his cherry cigar, picks her up, throws her over his shoulder and carries her out of the house.

Written by Payton Kane, Screenwriter

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